Inching Nearer

Inching Nearer

A sermon delivered by Rev. Peter T. Atkinson

October 8, 2017

at Bethany Presbyterian Church, Zuni, Virginia

Deuteronomy 26: 1-11

Luke 12: 22-32

Let us pray,

Help us to see despite our eyes

Help us to think outside of our minds

Help us to be more than our lives   

For your eyes show the way

    Your mind knows the truth

    Your being is the life.

Amen.

Man I love that song, Nearer My God to Thee, Nearer to Thee. What more could we want? For what more can we ask? A few weeks ago after my Sunday School class I had a great, though brief discussion, brief because we were running to make sure we could get everything done and make it to church on time. . . and I had to get robed and choired up, and Debbie was waiting for me. . . but it was a great question. . . we had been talking about the serpent in the Garden of Eden, talked about how the story of the fall of the angels is mostly from tradition and not Biblical. . . but the question had to do with what salvation is, and if it is only dying and going to heaven, and I realize, that word “only” there, “only heaven” is a bit problematic to say the least, but the question is how do we know that the rebellion, or the sin in the garden, our own choice of the other, wouldn’t happen again? In other words we are given the gift of grace, salvation, paradise, etc. . . but what if we don’t want it? What if our hearts desire something else still? Without a change of our hearts to make us desire God, desire the good, heaven is merely an eternity of goodness that we may not want, may somewhere in our heart of hearts resist, reject, or even grow to despise . . . you know you are doing some good things in Sunday School when it sparks questions like that. But to me that exactly is what the Nearer my God to thee hymn is all about, draw me nearer, draw my heart nearer, make my heart, my will, my life to be completely thine, even though it be a cross that raises me, draw me nearer, if not all at once, then at least nearer, day by day, or inch by inch. And it echoes Away in a Manger, you know from Christmas, where it says, fit us for heaven to live with thee there. Change our hearts. . .

So I wanted to leave behind the Marks of a Christian for today, we’ll pick back up with it next week, but today I wanted to do something special,  since it is a special occasion in my life and in the life of this church, for today we finish the job of getting hitched, and begin our work, our ministry together proper. . . and I wanted to let you all know something a little bit more about me, and my journey, that has led me here. . . give my testimony, as it were. Just a month shy of 6 years ago I was ordained and installed in Gordonsville, and on that day I gave a sermon called God’s epic, which described my life up until that moment, and how God’s path for me was winding and dragging, and full of twists and turns that brought me there. . . it seemed appropriate. And a few weeks ago when I went with Wayne to the revival over in Suffolk, they had guys get up and give what was their testimony. One guy talked about how his mother was praying for him, and he was wild, but she kept praying, and everybody said amen, and then he said you ever had a righteous Christian woman praying for you? And every body laughed, and then he said your life is going to change, jack. . . again amens. . . and then he said how he was running, let me tell you was I running, but the Lord was faster, again laughs and amen, and he said it didn’t matter where I was running, it didn’t matter whether I’d turn to the right, or to the left, around this corner, or that corner, in the end I was going to turn to him, and that I did, and that was 22 years ago, and I haven’t strayed from that path one single solitary minute, one single day, I’ve served him from that day when I gave him my heart. . . on a night just like tonight, with a mother praying for me, and you can too, cuz I bet you’ve got a mother praying for you, and I bet you got a grandmother, and a hundred other ladies, and they all praying for you, will you give your heart to Jesus? Will you turn to him? Like I did all those years ago? I want to see you make that pledge, make that statement, turn yourself, because I don’t want to see you burn in eternal hell fire, no we want to save your soul for Jesus tonight. . . .

I don’t have a story like that to tell. . . My story is more like the beginning to a Johnny Cash song, no not that one, and no not that one either, but it starts with a little monologue. . . he says

One night after a concert
I walked through the streets of the town
And came upon a little church

The service was over but the testimonials had just begun
People caught up in the spirit of the night
Just didn't want to leave
So I stepped inside the door
And sat down by a little old lady in the back

A man stood up in front and said
I just want all of you to know that
I'm going straight to heaven as fast as I can go
Like an arrow shot from a bow and he sat down

Another man stood up and said
I'm sailin' right straight into heaven
Like a giant clipper ship, sailin' on a sea of blue
And nothin's gonna deter me or keep me from that safe harbor

He sat down and another man stood up and said
I'm flyin' into the portals of heaven on silver wings
Sailin' over all the troubles and trials down below
Straight on in and he sat down

The little lady beside me made it to her feet slowly
And all got quiet as she raised her face
Not to the preacher or the congregation
But toward heaven and prayerfully said

I'm comin', Lord for my heavenly reward
I'm on my way to You, can You see me comin' through?
Through clouds of persecution and stumblin' on the way
But I expect I'm makin' 'bout a half a mile a day

The road to Heaven doesn't have a rapid transit plan
It's one way with no changes goin' to the promised land
But I believe that if I'll heed the things He had to say
Even I might get to Heaven at a half a mile a day

For me it is a struggle. . . a path. . . a journey, and everyday presents its own battles. . . but one thing is great and sure, and that is my salvation was paid for not by any words I can say out loud, not by my momma praying for me, though I’m sure she did, all the time, not caught up in the frenzy of a moment, not from my purchasing an insurance policy out of fear that I may go to hell, but by the cross, by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, by an act of a sovereign, all powerful God full of steadfast love, and that is the same for you. . . and now my heart needs to come to come to terms with what it means to live in this world of Grace. . . and that, for me at least, is difficult, its difficult because I make it difficult. . . it doesn’t much matter, because I’m going, its like one of my favorite movies, Gettysburg. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain is a union Colonel from Maine, actually a professor at Bowdoin College, and he is famous for being tasked in the Battle of Gettysburg on the Second day to hold the Heights of Little Round Top, the extreme Left Flank of the Union line, and he does, it is a harrowing battle, they run out of ammunition, do a bayonet charge, and some how hold on. But all that is in the future at this point in the movie. The battle has not begun and they are on the march through northern Maryland, and they are told to deal with 200 prisoners, mutineers, other Maine men, who have been treated poorly they believe by the army, and have refused to fight, he is told that if they don’t want to come, he can shoot them, now he knows that he can’t do that. . . and he wonders if they do. This is what he says. . .

I've been ordered to take you men with me, I'm told that if you don't come I can shoot you. Well, you know I won't do that. Maybe somebody else will, but I won't, so that's that. Here's the situation, the Whole Reb army is up that road aways waiting for us, so this is no time for an argument like this, I tell you. We could surely use you fellahs, we're now well below half strength. Whether you fight or not, that's up to you, whether you come along is... well, you're coming.

I love that, well you’re coming, that seems to be the way God works with us, kinda like Jonah, I want you to go to Nineveh. . . but I don’t want to, I flee, I, they, what if, . . . no your going. . . he brings us along, he does what he can to change our hearts along the way, but the truth is “we’re coming”. My story is like that, whether it is Nearer my God to thee, as my devout wish, A half a mile a day, or well, you’re coming. . . I think you get the idea.

How do we live in a world of grace? How do we allow our hearts to turn to God in such a world as this, where our hearts seem for some reason to want fairness, and instead God gives us grace? We say we want fairness, but our sense of fairness, our perspective of fairness doesn’t really ever see the whole picture, and include our shortcomings. I mentioned Jonah, he goes through it, prophesies to Nineveh, and then is irritated because God didn’t smite them. . . it isn’t fair. . . but do we really want fair? I mean we see how Jonah is behaving, can we see such things in ourselves? In the mirror? Perhaps

I believe coming to terms with living in a world of Grace is about two things. . . Gratitude and Faith. . . and our Scripture lessons put this into context. . . first the Old Testament: Deuteronomy 26: 1-11. . .

26 When you have come into the land that the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance to possess, and you possess it, and settle in it, ² you shall take some of the first of all the fruit of the ground, which you harvest from the land that the Lord your God is giving you, and you shall put it in a basket and go to the place that the Lord your God will choose as a dwelling for his name. ³ You shall go to the priest who is in office at that time, and say to him, “Today I declare to the Lord your God that I have come into the land that the Lord swore to our ancestors to give us.” ⁴ When the priest takes the basket from your hand and sets it down before the altar of the Lord your God, ⁵ you shall make this response before the Lord your God: “A wandering Aramean was my ancestor; he went down into Egypt and lived there as an alien, few in number, and there he became a great nation, mighty and populous. ⁶ When the Egyptians treated us harshly and afflicted us, by imposing hard labor on us, ⁷ we cried to the Lord, the God of our ancestors; the Lord heard our voice and saw our affliction, our toil, and our oppression. ⁸ The Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with a terrifying display of power, and with signs and wonders; ⁹ and he brought us into this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey. ¹⁰ So now I bring the first of the fruit of the ground that you, O Lord, have given me.” You shall set it down before the Lord your God and bow down before the Lord your God. ¹¹ Then you, together with the Levites and the aliens who reside among you, shall celebrate with all the bounty that the Lord your God has given to you and to your house.

There is the gratitude part right. You recall your history, recall where you have been, and see God’s hand at work, a hand of action, a hand of steadfast love, a hand of Grace. . . brought you up out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an out stretched arm. . . thank you God, thank you for this land, this milk and honey. . . and you bring the first fruits not out of obligation, but by gratitude, and you share with the Levites and the aliens, because grace is something learned by extension. . . when you give it you come to learn something about it, but again, not by obligation, but through gratitude, we even say it this way when we conjugate the word, we say with a gracious heart. . . not gratitudenal, but gracious. . .

So that is gratitude, now faith. . . this comes from Luke 12: 22-32. . . a well known passage from the sermon on the plain.

²² He said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. ²³ For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. ²⁴ Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! ²⁵ And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? ²⁶ If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest? ²⁷ Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. ²⁸ But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! ²⁹ And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. ³⁰ For it is the nations of the world that strive after all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹ Instead, strive for his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

³² “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

I love that phrase at the end. . . Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to the give you the kingdom. . . gratitude is looking back on your life and seeing the role of grace in it and being thankful, having your heart full of thanks, so much so that it is over flowing. . . faith on the other hand, is taking that idea of grace, and sending it out into the rest of your life, into the future, into the unknown, and not limiting God to what he has already done, but relying on the fact that God’s grace extends forward and is boundless. That is it right, that is the crux of this statement from Jesus. . . do not worry. . . life is more than food, the body is more than clothes. . . look to the birds, but doesn’t God love you more than the birds. . . yes. If you can’t add to  your life by worrying, why worry about the rest. . . Life is an act of grace, and everything, gratitude is seeing it as an act of grace and being thankful, faith is understanding that God’s love knows no bounds, being there now and forever to supply your path. You of little faith, he says, and do not be afraid little flock. . . faith allows us to cast out fear, so we would not be controlled by our fears. . . The choir sang it song perfectly this morning. . . Your grace has brought us safe thus far, your grace will lead us home.

I was asked at Blue Ridge for the Year Book one year for a quote, about life. I had a reputation as the deep teacher, who would blow student’s minds, and they wanted something from me along those lines, the question was how would you tell the story of your life. . . what I gave them is printed in the bulletin:

"Since all life is a work of creation, a word spoken, and light made from darkness, pronounced good, I would arrange the chapters of my own life so that it would reveal to the reader and testify to the world that ongoing connected cycle of truth, making sure that the reader could see that even in the darkest places of intense struggle, the seeds of light are always being planted, that the hardest struggles are where life is lived, where light begins to shine, rooted in love, and the rest is a blessed journey we get to share together just to learn how to give ourselves in love even in those darkest moments—in other words the order it was lived because truth need not be framed."

Big words, but I guess I’ve taken great pains this morning to frame this, I guess to make sure you would see that message ringing through, that life is a journey of light shining out of darkness, where each struggle brings us nearer our God thee, maybe a half a mile a day, or may just inch by inch, but no matter how much we struggle against it. . . well, you’re coming. So if I look back on my life I do see those patterns at work, it is impossible not to. The times of some of the most pain were times when I was being drawn nearer. My call to ministry beginning in some way shape and form in 2003 when I lost my best friend to a workplace accident, and two weeks later my closest student to a car accident. I never would have left Christchurch, I was comfortable there, I was doing every thing I thought I ever aspired to do, I had only ever wanted to coach football and baseball and teach, I never would have left it, had I not had a troubled roommate situation, and a Pompous Ivy League grad English Department Head, who was obnoxious, he ended up clearing out the whole department including himself. But I said this all has been a struggle, because at the time these things broke me. I was filled with worry, fear, and despair, but looking back I was brought nearer, nearer to thee. . . I don’t want to go to seminary, well, your coming. . . deciding to go, and then meeting DeAnna right before, so I was moving to Richmond, but still hanging on to the Tidewater area, struggles and loneliness, a summer in New York, but it also leading to a great opportunity in Hampton, couldn’t have worked any other way, and all those times driving back and forth, they were long, but each drew me nearer, for I found there the skills and experiences I would come to need so much, and then getting out and not being ready for ordination, heading back to teaching, but finding that the things I wanted to do, I couldn’t do without it. . . and then God finding the perfect window to pull me through, the paired career with Gordonsville and Blue Ridge. It couldn’t have worked any other way than what it did, but there were also times when it didn’t work. When I’d be on the 7^th or 8^th straight week of working 7 days a week, and if I was working 7 days that meant DeAnna was too, so there was really no break with two kids, and then with 3, forget about it. . . and each of those births were moments of fear, doubt, and worry. . . Coralee because it was taking too long, Clara because she didn’t breathe right away, all prepared me in some way shape or form to Susanna coming faster than the midwife could get there, and me catching her, and passing her back to DeAnna as fast as I could. . . You see each of those in the order they happened was a perfect example of grace, and my response to each in the moment was of trepidation, worry, fear, why me, this is too hard, I want out, change this, you got to fix this, but instead he said, Pete, whether you fight or not its up to you, but whether you come along is, well, you’re coming.

And that leads me to this last step, coming here to Bethany, because it’s not like you decide you want to leave a church, you pick a church and go, the process for choosing a new church is long and twisting with many turns, and false findings. And I know the parallel journey of seeking a new pastor for your church is winding as well, but now we stand here, brought together, and we can face the future with uncertainty, wondering where we’re heading, trying to control, and plan, and verify it is the right time to do this or that, we can worry about the future, or we can look back at the journey and let that give us confidence that the same hand which has led us up to this point, will continue to lead us, and whether or not we fight him, its well you’re coming. . .

I want to close with a poem from my absolute favorite poem, he comes at these ideas from a completely different path, but I think in this poem he comes close to what we’ve been talking about. It’s called Diaologue of Self and Soul, and the poet is William Butler Yeats, he writes a the end of that poem, here the self is speaking:

  

I am content to live it all again
And yet again, if it be life to pitch
Into the frog-spawn of a blind man's ditch,
A blind man battering blind men;
Or into that most fecund ditch of all,
The folly that man does
Or must suffer, if he woos
A proud woman not kindred of his soul.
I am content to follow to its source
Every event in action or in thought;
Measure the lot; forgive myself the lot!
When such as I cast out remorse
So great a sweetness flows into the breast
We must laugh and we must sing,
We are blest by everything,
Everything we look upon is blest.

As I said, he is coming from a different angle, but what he is saying is, when you can look back on your life and forgive yourself, willing to do it all over again, casting out remorse, you are giving up control, and at that point everything you do is blessed, because it has been led, it is God living in you, and where you are right now is where he has led you, and will continue to lead us, here at Bethany in this new ministry together. May it Be So, Amen.