A Trail of Life

A Trail of Life

A sermon delivered by Rev. Peter T. Atkinson

August 20, 2017

at Bethany Presbyterian Church, Zuni, Virginia

1 Kings 17: 7-16

Matthew 14:13-21

For Video of this sermon click here

Let us pray,

Help us to see despite our eyes

Help us to think outside of our minds

Help us to be more than our lives    

For your eyes show the way

    Your mind knows the truth

    Your being is the life.

Amen.

So we’ve been working at defining love for the last few weeks. And as we go in our defining we do not want to conf ne love too much, because there is great danger in limiting infinite things, and love is an infinite thing, mostly because it is connected to experience, and experience is something that is occurring ever in the eternal present. . . in other words we are constantly experiencing things, and across this world, and across all of time, people have been experiencing love in immeasurable, unfathomable ways. And so we can get at the definition of love only through narrative and poetry, because they both take into account this intangible notion of experience, but it is also important to make the distinction that everything is not love, infinity does not assure saturation, and we must realize that as well, love can and must be defined, so that we can grow closer to knowing it, especially since Christ himself states that the greatest commandment is wrapped up in doing this very thing, to simply love God and love our neighbor. So after setting those paramenters about love and its definition, we set out to work, and pushed our boundaries a little bit by taking the notion that God is Love, and applying it, looking at the actions of God in the Bible, and raising them up, and thereby challenging ourselves, and understandings of love, greatly, but raising up the actions of God in the Bible and calling them love. It pushed us, greatly. . . but now having done that, these last few weeks of this sermon series, beginning last week and ending I think next week, we are being more specific, trying to bring those boundaries back, again not to confine, but to give us an up close and tangible idea of what love is, and how we might go about doing it. Last week we talked about the idea that Love is saying, “I will not walk away” which is a mirror of God’s steadfastness. God does not walk away, he is always there with powerful and meaningful presence in and through the lives of the Biblical Characters, no matter what they do, and we testify to the same about God in our own lives today, that no matter what God will not walk away. . . God is steadfast.

Today I want to bring to light another facet of Love, and that is that it leaves a trail of life behind it. It is abounding and overflowing with life. Now to help me bring out this idea, I’m going to seek to show another idea about love that is greatly connected, and that is that it never runs out. . . let’s look at the Old and New Testament Lessons for today, for they are both stories revealing this amazing quality that love and its power has. . . the very miracle of radical fullness.

The first is from the Old Testament, the story of Elijah and the widow, and the ever filling jars. . .

 But after a while the wadi dried up, because there was no rain in the land.

⁸ Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, ⁹ “Go now to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and live there; for I have commanded a widow there to feed you.” ¹⁰ So he set out and went to Zarephath. When he came to the gate of the town, a widow was there gathering sticks; he called to her and said, “Bring me a little water in a vessel, so that I may drink.” ¹¹ As she was going to bring it, he called to her and said, “Bring me a morsel of bread in your hand.” ¹² But she said, “As the Lord your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of meal in a jar, and a little oil in a jug; I am now gathering a couple of sticks, so that I may go home and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” ¹³ Elijah said to her, “Do not be afraid; go and do as you have said; but first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterwards make something for yourself and your son. ¹⁴ For thus says the Lord the God of Israel: The jar of meal will not be emptied and the jug of oil will not fail until the day that the Lord sends rain on the earth.” ¹⁵ She went and did as Elijah said, so that she as well as he and her household ate for many days. ¹⁶ The jar of meal was not emptied, neither did the jug of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord that he spoke by Elijah.

Now before I go on to the New Testament lesson, I want to expound on this one. There is a novel that I read this past spring that takes this story and expands it, taking what is only a paragraph or two from the Bible and imagining it in its fullness. It is called The Fifth Mountain, and it was a short and easy read, and a good read. It really did bring to life this story, bringing to life the political realities that Elijah was dealing with, the idea that this woman, this widow and her son were not living alone but in city, in a community, and that the idea of sheltering a Prophet of Yahweh, was not only bad from an economic (hey we don’t have any bread to spare aspect) but that also a political, in other words, not only would they starve, but they’d be outcast, shunned, or perhaps much worse. And then what else would happen during this time. Elijah is running away from Jezebel, but even Elijah’s own faith is tested, he has yet to fully come into his own as a prophet, he has yet to work his amazing act with all the priests of Baal, and he has yet to hear God’s still small voice. . . but this act of faith on his part, and her part bears the fruit of real sacrifice, because it bears out life really out over the edge, but what the writer, Paulo Coehlo, who is more famous for writing the book The Alchemist, what he does is show how those jars not emptying is truly connected to their faith and humanity, their love, growing for each other built on this shared act of faith out over the edge. Impressive stuff, Fifth Mountain, great book. I’m sure it is in a box at this point, but when I get to it I fully recommend it and can lend it, or maybe share it in a book circle at some point.

But now let’s turn our attention to another, jar never emptying story, that being the feeding of the multitudes from Matthew’s gospel, this is Matthew 14: 13-21, I’m sure at least slightly more well known than old Elijah’s:

¹³ Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. ¹⁴ When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. ¹⁵ When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” ¹⁶ Jesus said to them, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” ¹⁷ They replied, “We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.” ¹⁸ And he said, “Bring them here to me.” ¹⁹ Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. ²⁰ And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. ²¹ And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.

Now both of these stories share in common something that is truly miraculous, for in both what is expected fails to occur. When you go out with only five loaves of bread and two fish, you cannot expect to feed five thousand people, and when a widow only has a little bit of oil and a little bit of meal, and they are about ready to eat their last meal before starving to death. And that is what the text says. There are not many details in the story as it comes to us from 1 Kings, but that one does, it clearly says, out of the mouth of the woman that they have got it into their minds that this will be their last bite, that their food is completely gone, and not just that this will leave them out of food temporarily, no this is their last bite of food, and their last prospects of having any food, this is it, she says, I was saving it for my son and me, so that we can eat it and then die. Now that is poverty, and that is starvation, and that is supposed to be all she wrote, that is supposed to be the end, but yet she shares, and the food abounds, and it lasts everyday until Elijah is finally ready to move on. Amazing, it shouldn’t be like that. The disciples said, Jesus it’s getting late, and there are all these people here, they are going to want to be fed, and we ain’t got it, just a two fish and a few loaves of bread, but somehow, just like with Elijah, it all worked, when the need was there, what was provided abounded. . . and the Israelites shared common stories in their time in the desert, what with Manna falling from heaven, and the water coming out of the rock. It shouldn’t be like that but it is. . . Now you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with love, and I thought you were talking about leaving a trail of life behind you, or some such thing, what does this have to do with love?

Have you ever noticed, or again we’ll focus on experience, have you ever experienced a time when you were seemingly loving, and your energy to do so didn’t give out, what you had to give was absolutely necessary for what it was that you needed to do? Have you ever noticed that feeling in yourself? Have you ever noticed it in someone else? Have you noticed it differently in your life when loving was a part of the recipe. . . and by love, let’s use for sake of this week, one of those words connected with the great commandment, we talked about it the other week, the Hebrew word Meod, which is translated often as might, love the lord your God with all your might. And remember that this word means to the end of your energy, like you’ve crossed the desert, and had no understanding of why your feet kept moving, but they did. . . that is meod, giving of your complete self, how come is it then that when you truly love with meod, you never run out. . . by definition you are giving to your very last breath, your very last bit of energy, your very last, but that last never actually comes?  

It’s a paradox . . . and that is the title of the poem that I put in the bulletin as this morning’s meditation. . . The Paradox. . .

The Paradox

The city standing on the hill is not
The goal. The people there do shine without,
Not for themselves the center of the plot;
For those who see, instead, it's all about.
The city shines its light unto the world;
The light itself the beacon that it gives,
That light grows dim when inward focus furled,
For love, outpouring stokes the strength, it lives!
But love we give is not love that is lost;
It grows, the more it leaves the one whose love
Is given freely, d'spite reward or cost,
Though always seen by unseen eyes above,
So shine your light, and shine it not for you,
And they'll be filled with light, but you will, too.

Now as the writer of this poem I am in the unique position to tell you a little bit about it. First off it is a sonnet, and the sonnet is a tight structure. There is set meter and a rhyme schemed, but also there is a structure to the idea. Normally in a Shakesperean Sonnet like this, there are three major parts. The first part is made up by the first two stanzas, in this case the first 8 lines, and they are supposed to develop an idea. Let’s look at the idea that is being developed. . . biblical imagery, city on a hill, and its job to shine light, not for itself but outward. So this light is not for themselves, but sent outward. . . and it speaks initially of the paradox, without explaining it, it says that light shines out, but if it were to shine in for the people inside the city the light would dim. . . interesting to think about. . . I remember being in high school and learning the difference between external and internal family economy. . . for instance if I was doing chores around our house for money that was coming from our family. . . but if I were to go out and cut the neighbor’s grass or get a job at the mall that would be money coming in. . . and of course money coming it is better than money going out, because it adds to the coffers, but in this case it is reversed, the light grows in strength only when shining outward. . . hmmm. Now in a Shakesperean sonnet comes the fancy Italian word, Volta, which just means changing point. At this point the question being asked, or in this case the irony being raised, gets explained, and in this case it connects it to love, that love is not lessened when it is given, but rather grows and grows, and that being the case with love given in connection with meod, it would also give back at that same heightened level. Again I ask have you ever found this to be the case? In yourself? In others?

Another story, and another poem. . . keeps coming back to narrative and poetry doesn’t it, you see there is a method to this madness. . . in my former church there was a woman, and I noticed that she was “Bleeding love on three sides.” When we are born we gain the first aspect of our identity, we become daughter or son. . . our identity is connected in that way to another. Then if we get married we gain a second, we become husband or wife. . . and then if we are lucky enough to follow this proscribed order, we have kids and gain a third, we become mother or father, there are three sides then to identity, and she had the three, she was daughter, husband, and mother. . . and she was in a situation where her mother was 99 years old and battling the rapid decline of her body, she needed constant care. . . it would turn out that the end was near, but at this point it hadn’t come yet. Also her husband who had some chronic health problems anyway, had also fallen, slipped on the ice and broke his foot and ankle, needing constant care, and her son had just been diagnosed with the rapid onset of cancer, needing constant care. . . now that is what I mean by bleeding love on all sides, not just three sides, but all sides. . . yet as weary as she was, her energy never waivered, she was strong, she was a rock, she loved them each and even had love outpouring beyond those three sides to the people of her church whom she truly loved as well. I was so moved I wrote this for her:

The Three Sides of Love

Have you ever been bleeding love on all sides,

Pouring out your heart in three directions at once,

Where all that makes you, you, needs all of you,      

Completely, wholly, and there is no end in sight,

Where the immediacy of now is real, encompassing

Every corner of your body, flowing through every 

Vein and leaking out, your fluid force of life, given,

Offered, none held back or hoarded, overflowing,

Breaking down walls and barriers, at once forever?

You should feel empty, but if you have, you get it:

There is nothing that could fill you so much. Perhaps,

This is living in the house of the Lord, a house 

Where walls have long since come down, invisible,

But real, an embrace, where all that flowed out

Returns, as if it never left. There is no way to know

Such things: they must be experienced, felt, believed.

My prayer is not to deliver you from such things,

But to send you into their glorious center, so you

Can come to love like that and become fully human,

For this alone is the grace-filled image of God. 

At the end of the poem I state, again maybe paradoxically that I would not want to deliver someone from such things, though there is great pain, though there is great effort, though suffering is at a premium, a high, those are the times when we look back on them that we feel the most alive. . . I remember funerals where there was such life present. . . actually I don’t remember any funerals connected to church, where I have been apart of them where there wasn’t extreme life present, an energy, an unmistakeable power just emanating from the people present, in the outpouring of help, but also in the outpouring of just being there, just realizing that there isn’t an escape hatch, but reality must absolutely be endured, and it is and it does, and love and life, inseparable as they are absolutely abound.

I once had a friend ask me what I thought the meaning of life was. He said, “Pete, I’m fifty years old and I’ve done a lot, I’ve got a good job, I’m making a difference here, I’m happy at home, great wife, love the kid, and I’m here teaching these kids, but I don’t know what life is all about.” I said, yes you do, he was like what do you mean? I see it, you couldn’t exude the energy and passion that just comes out of you unless you had some clue, What in the world are you talking about. . . I said life isn’t about any unifying secret that all people have to live to. He said wait a minute preacher man isn’t the meaning of life connected to church and religion? I said yes and know. . . he said what do you mean? Well in church we talk about love right, loving God and Loving Neighbor. . . he said yeah, but what is love? He said, hell I don’t know, being nice to people. . . come on you can do better than that. . . I said its about giving of yourself completely. . . knowing yourself, your talents, your environment, your experiences, how they have shaped you, and giving that, just that to the world. . . he said, ok yeah, but that is what I mean I’m 50 years old, relatively happy and living a balanced life, but I don’t know what it is for me. . . I said, have you ever had a moment where you were doing something, and connected to it with such passion and energy, giving your all, but in the middle you realized that the energy put in and the energy taken out were at a balance, and it felt like you could do it forever. He said, yeah. . . I said, of course, no kidding I’ve seen you. He said, what do you mean you’ve seen. I said it is unmistakable when someone is like that because the life that it spreads around them is infectious it just spreads, it leaves a trail. . .

The girls play this game on our phones or our ipads, its called slither.io or something like that, but basically it works like this you are a snake, and all the other people who are playing the game at the same time are also snakes, and you have to move around, now as you eat these little dots you get to be bigger, now you at some point realize that the little dots are coming from the tail end of all the snakes and you have to eat more dots than you give up, and if you run into another snake you die. . . and your body turns into a feast of these little dots, and if you eat them you grow really big really fast. . . the other thing you can do is speed up your snake, but if you do that the rate that you snake is shrinking is larger, and you lose control. . . so you have a bunch of snakes trying to kill each other and then live off of the death of each other because if you can kill a bigger snake you can get bigger and take their life force. It’s a great game, and it reflects in many ways the way of the world, and if we were only looking at the way the world works and operates it would be really easy to think that this is all the world is, a bunch of conflict, everyone taking from everyone else, running the race and trying to go fast, but going fast and running out of energy and control. . . knocking others down so you can take their place and gain from their fall. . . we talk in church often about being in the world but not of it, this is what we mean when we say that, because Love works the opposite. . . the faster you go, the more energy you have, the more energy you give, the more energy you have, and then there is that one similarity, others do benefit from the trail you leave behind but it doesn’t make you smaller it makes you bigger, and when you finally do give it all, others do benefit, but Jesus shows us that even this is not the end, doesn’t he. . . and that is where we will end next week with our series on Love Defined, but not Confined, the notion that Love is sacrifice. . . . until then. . . what kind of vapor trail are you leaving behind you? Amen. . .