The Commencement
Address delivered by Rev. Peter T. Atkinson
May 26, 2012
at The Blue Ridge
School, Saint George, Virginia
Members of the board, Mr. Darrin, Parents, Friends,
Faculty, Underclassmen, and finally the class of 2012. . . Thank you for the
honor of addressing you on this your commencement day. I'm truly moved, and
touched. . . May I begin this morning with a brief prayer, join me if you will,
let us pray.
Almighty,
Loving, Father God,
Help us to see despite our eyes
Help us to think outside our minds
Help us to be more than our lives
For your eyes show us the way
Your mind knows the truth
Your being is the life.
Amen.
Last night I
emailed the entire school community a poem that I penned last year for
commencement. I will close this morning with those carefully chosen words, so I
know exactly where this message is heading, but I want to offer this speech as
a preface to that concise piece of advice, if I could, because one line from that
poem I think needs emphasis. I want that line to stand out when I read it later
because it is the central focus and the climax of the poem. It is central to
your lives as young men, heading out into the world, and also is central to
everything that I know to be true about this our world: that line is,
"Love as if your life depended on it," simply that, "Love as if
your life depended on it." In the poem I follow that line with
"because it does more than you could ever know." I believe to my soul
that it truly does, but first why. . .
Our world is
difficult, and frustrating, and cruel. There will be times when you will dream
about the chance to do a "walkabout" to erase a mistake you made, but
in life there is no such thing. You will dream, too, that the phrase, "but
that's not fair," actually holds water because it won't. You will dream
about having opportunity period because that kind of set aside time to get your
work done, would be like gold, but it doesn't exist. Believe me, I know, I have
two kids under the age of two. . . I dream of having an opportunity period. And
all of that is if you actually get everything you want: a good job, a wife, a
family, success. . . but it's not a new phenomenon. Men have struggled
throughout history. Whitman writes. . .
O Me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the
foolish;
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and
who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle
ever renew’d;
Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see
around me;
Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me
intertwined;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O
life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful
play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.
You will and
you must contribute a verse; it is a simple as that. What will your verse be is
the question. Shakespeare asked it a different way, when he wrote "To be
or not to be," that is his question, asking "who would fardels bear,
to grunt and sweat under a weary life?"
I suggest to
you this morning that the answer to both, the answer to solving the ills
of our world, and the answer to the question of what makes life itself worth
living, even fraught with those very ills, is the same thing, and that is
love.
I've started
every class that I've taught here at Blue Ridge the same way. Every September,
when most teachers are going through the syllabus, we start with our first
vocabulary word. Those of you who had me last year for English, do you remember
it? I ask my students to do their best, and write a definition of what "Love"
is, and I tell them that their definition must define love completely, all
aspects included in their complete definition. After saying they can't use the
dictionary, I always get the same kind of thing, "Of or pertaining to the
emotion of great care for another person." Anytime you hear
"of or pertaining to" you know that you've already lost. As Big Daddy
said in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, "if you gotta use words like
that to describe something its 90 proof bull and I'm not buying any." So I
hand it back, and they try again, and they go a little deeper, but they always
seem to be missing something. They'll include love for a woman, but will leave
out the kind of love they have for sports, or family, or their dog, or they'll
talk about bliss, but not pain, and we all know that love includes both.
So the next
thing we do, to try to spur our thoughts on, is try to come up with phrases
that have love in them. . . like Puppy Love, or Young love, or Lost in Love, or
Love/Hate Relationship, or What's Love Got to Do With It?, or Love Bites, love bleeds. .. It's bringing me to my knees.
. . Sorry I guess singing Def Leppard
shows my age. This exercise always expands the student definitions a bit.
Usually a phrase like "Tough Love" hadn't been thought of yet. So
after that I have them try again, and now they are writing full paragraphs,
trying to list as many aspects as possible. . . but then there is always one in
the class ,who writes something like love is a roller coaster. .. and that's
when I know I've got 'em. Yes, I celebrate inside, poetry and figurative
language are needed to get at an idea like love. . . and now on the first day
of class I've got little poets, and class can begin.
Even though I
taught them that love is indefinable, I have a working definition that I use,
so here goes. This is what I think Love means: Love is "giving of your
complete self to and for something that is not you, holding nothing back, but
giving of you to else, all of you. . . every single bit, including any thought
for what you will get back in return." I think that encapsulates it: the
joy, the pain, the suffering, the beauty, the uncertainty, the nausea, the
tears, the laughter, the memories, the moments, the fear, the lack of
control, the dedication to a sport, every dream ever dreamed, every poem
ever written, every love song ever sung, every movie, every
story, the heart break, the risk, the sacrifice, the nervousness,
the importance, sex, parenthood, the only hope for our world, and, to be honest,
life itself. Can you give all of yourself for something else? Have any of you
risked that much? Probably not yet. I stand here this morning struggling with
it myself. It is the most difficult thing that a human can do, but I can think
of no nobler aspect of life.
What makes it
so difficult? You may disagree. . . you may be thinking to yourself. Mr.
Atkinson, talk about 90 proof bull. I've loved, and it is not that hard. But
have you given of your complete self? Do you even know yet what your complete
self is? That is part of the difficulty. To truly love, you must know who you
are because how can you give all, if you don't know what all is? So find out
who you are. . . The world needs you to, because the world needs you to
love. Each one of you has a self that is completely unique to you, and the
world needs you to give it. No one else can give the gift of you, and the world
needs all of us, so begin your search for yourself. Build it up, but build it
up to give it.
Many of you
will have that chance in college. You will have the opportunity to find out who
you are. Do so, search, seek, and be true. One of the biggest problems that men
face in this world is remaining true to that self because there are many
defining voices in this world − voices that will try to put you in a confined
box and trap you in a group, by race, by political affiliation, by your job, by
income, by where you are from. We actually add another one to you today.
You are now Blue Ridge Graduates. It
will forever be a part of who you are, but it must remain exactly that, a part.
There is so much more that you will welcome under the umbrella of you, as
your world expands. Let it continue to expand. There is nothing more valuable
to give than a self that is continuing to expand. Think of the possibilities
that makes for love. They are infinite, which is good because our world has
seemingly infinite problems: political polarization, failing economic systems,
war, hatred, violence, terrorism, misguided protest movements, the constant
threat of total annihilation. . . Yes what the world needs now is love, sweet
love, and that means that you, each of you must be willing to give love. You
will carry the torch of humanity into the future. Will yours be the generation
that finally figures it all out? We can hope. We can have faith because we can
believe in the power and the existence of love. Be a part of that truth.
I hope you are
starting to realize something about love, in what I've been saying. Love is
like life. It's hard; it takes your all; it's filled with risk, and when lived
right, when loved right, it's actually lived. It leaves a growing, glowing,
glorious trail of life behind it. We started with Whitman "That you are
here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and
you will contribute a verse." Life exists, love exists, and identity. You
are unique manifestation of life, created by love, to give love. It seems so
simple. May it be so.
Now,
having given the preface, my poem:
For the 2012
Graduates of Blue Ridge School
Commencement:
To commence, to start, initiate;
To gather together and begin,
So here we are together one last time
And off you go, at the outset of a journey,
Having completed the twelve year tutorial,
Embark, with guided steps.
Good luck, bon voyage, congratulations,
All are certainly in order.
You’ve earned this day,
The culmination of past days,
The first of future days.
Burst free and fly, it’s you now,
Your choices, your plans, your work,
Your future, your life,
And we who’ve played a part,
Go with you forever,
Just as you stay with us forever,
For bonds made in relationship don’t break,
Impact is reciprocal when it’s honest,
Teaching is learning when it’s true,
The intersections of life are life,
Thank you for what you brought,
And I hope you can use what I gave,
Then as your path winds on,
May the way build you as the past has done,
And know that there is only one instance of you,
One original creation,
One glorious blessed uniqueness,
That has much to offer a world in need.
Know yourself, be yourself, always,
One unified searching soul.
Encounter each challenge as it comes.
Remember that suffering strengthens,
That pain deepens your soul,
So instead of avoiding, attack.
Attack life and live.
Taste each breath you take.
Feel each tear you shed.
Treasure each time you laugh.
And love as if your life depended on it
Because it does more than you ever could know.
I can give no other advice
On this your commencement
Than to stop for only a second,
Smile, take a breath, and go. . .
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